Alaskan Empireball
: Аляскинская Империяшар Alyaskinskaya Imperiyashar : ᐊᓛᓯᑲᓱᑦ ᓄᓈᑦᐃᒡᔪᒃ Alaasikasut Nunaatigjuk |founded = 17 October 2016 |onlypredecessor = Alaskan Republicball |government = Federal absolute monarchy Empire MIRAAN VORTAÍ OMNIE AETOTAAR AEN XAXAXAXAXAXAXA Alien |personality = She is knightly, chivalrous, courteous and proud (and at some times vain), and almost motherly. In fact, her history has been defined by wars, first to liberate herself from Fascist Canadaball, then to fight back against communism, socialism, political correctness and dictatorships and also to forge herself into an empire. The neologism "maternal warrior" describes her all too perfectly. Is also of alien |language = Aléscöi English Eskimo-Aleut languages (Inuktitut most of all) Russian Alien |type = Aléscöi Eskimo-Aleut Alaskan Natives American (partially) Russian Alien |capital = New Archangelball |affiliation = ADNball Pan-Arctic Communityball G20ball G7ball OECDball OPECball Vodka NATO CSTOball |religion = Christianity * Aléscö-Byzantine Orthodoxy Aléscöi Polytheism (only Western countryball who can into official polytheistic religion) ∆γγ LM∆θism |friends = Anyone who is capitalist, anti-communist, right-wing populist, neo-nationalist and hates globalism, but most importantly... ANZECballs Amikator proximaal miraan mei in the world Amikator miraan aen Aevropia mei and he also can into empire German Empireball Franceball Italyball Cataloniaball Other aliens stranded on Earth just like me Happy 100th Name-Day Polonia!!! Eurasian Unionball Fellow kebab and commie remover Greeceball Ethiopiaball because he is an empire like me and hates commies and kebab Ottomanball (sometimes) Mexicoball (But stop flooding USAball with migrants plox) I stand with you but remove circumcision plox!!! Amikatora vortaí miraan and my puppet fellow China-remover in the Pacific True Koreaball Japanball (sometimes) Thailandball TRUE Chinaball Amikator miraan mei in the tropics, congrats to Bolsonaro for can into president of hue!!! BUT I STILL HAVE HOTTER WOMEN THAN YUO XAXAXAXAXAXA Indiaball (sometimes) I WISH THEY WOULD STOP BURNING YUO Aliens Formerly: I DID IT PATORI, I CARRIED ON YUOR LEGACY You were true Koreaball all along, enjoy reunification |enemies = YUO ARE OF FAILED STATE, REMOVE MADURO!!! LEAVE CATALONIA ALONE!!! Or else... PURE EVIL LITERALLY SATAN FAKE CHINA AND COMMIE SCUM, REMOVE!!! Or else... PAID FOR BY SOROS REMOVE JIHAD AND REMOVE TERRORISTS!!! AND STAHP BOMBING ISRAELCUBE!!! JUST STAHP!!! Or else... YUO CANNOT INTO FEMALE PRESIDENT OF USA XAXAXAXAXA!!! I WILL NEVER JOIN YUO!!! REMOVE GLOBALISM!!! FLAG STEALER!!! STAHP BURNING VOLKSTAATBALL YUO AFRICOMMIES!!! JUST STAHP!!! Or else... Formerly: YUO SCREWED UP USABALL YUO HOLOCAUSTED MY PEOPLE, 1945 NEVER FORGET!!! YUO ARE MY CLAY NAO XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUO ARE OF FAKE KOREA, I REMOVED KIM FAMILY XAXAXAXAXA!!! [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|(((I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YUO]] FOR 1917))) BOMBED MY CLAY IN WWII AND ALSO FORMER FLAG STEALER LITERALLY AFRICAN HITLER |likes = MAGA; her flag; ravens; her Emperor, Aurora Romanova Silverwing; her language; being #1 superpower of the Arctic; hunting and fishing; cannabis; her military; her women; her aboriginal peoples; capitalism; high technology; being independent from fake USAball; her mineral wealth; �� oil for days; her overseas possessions; aliens |hates = Terrorists, KEBAB IN HER CLAY, JIHADISTS TRYING TO BOMB ME, GOAT-FUCKING SAVAGES, FEMALE SUPREMACISTS, liberal snowflakes who call us Nazis and fascists, LEFTIST REBELS WHO DRESS LIKE ARMY OF BANK ROBBERS, (((COMMIE SCUM))), big-eared idiot who ruin USAball and allow jihad on his clay, [[wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|'LYING POLITICIANS']], the US Democratic Party, partisan politics in general, leftism of any kind, her low male birth rate, (((VEGANS))), (((GLOBALISTS))) |intospace = Has world-orbiting network of battlestations and defense satellites, plus colonies on the Moon, Mars and orbiting Jupiter and Saturn because she is secretly a 6ball. Also can into global air supremacy within seconds, obliterate entire continents from orbit, and orbitally inserting entire armies anywhere on the globe to anschluss enemy clays. Fortunately, she currently has no plans to use for now. |bork = Aléscö vortaí Suka Blyat ∆γγ LM∆θ ∆γγ LM∆θ Impertua Impertua Silverwing Silverwing Khazarin Khazarin |food = Whatever she can hunt or fish from the wild; does not eat (((VEGAN FILTH))) of any kind. Also eats whatever cuisine aliens eat |status = Currently in a cold war with Fake Chinaball because of Aléscö-Chinese War and Chinaball losing some of his clay. |notes = Currently has sex ratio of 0.25 (women outnumber men 25 to 1) and a birth ratio of 1 male per 50,000 females. She is the only countryball that can into all-female military and the only Western countryball that can into polytheistic official religion. Also can into the hottest and tallest women on the planet (TAKE THAT BRAZIL XAXAXAXAXAXAXA!!!). |gender = Always female |predecessor = Aliens Alaskan Republicball}}Alaskan Empireball, ''' also known as '''Aléscöball, is secretly a 6ball a countryball located primarily in northern North America. She is the second-largest countryball on Earth, behind only PAFball, but is currently the world's dominant superpower alongside USAball, Chinaball, Eurasian Unionball, EUball and Brazilball. History ' From Humble and Alien Beginnings (c.15,000 BCE-1799) ' Aléscöball originated as a 6ball stranded on Earth lonesome Inuitball who crossed the Bering land bridge to what is now North America from what is now Asia about 15,000 years ago, settling in what now comprises her clay. Her clay is comprised of several different varieties of 3balls with her fellow Inuitballs being the largest group. For most of her pre-European history, these 3balls primarily existed as hunter-gatherer societies. In 1741, however, the Daneball known as Vitus Bering arrived off the coast of Aléscöball's clay on an expedition commissioned by Tsar Peter the Great of the Russian Empireball. Six years later, Russiaballs made landfall at Three Saints' Bay in the Aleutian island chain of her clay, soon to become Russian clay. They were after the fur trade and their slice of North American clay, specifically the "soft gold" or sea otter fur, the softest in the world after chinchilla fur; at the time it was worth its weight in gold. ' Russian Americaball (1799-1917) ' At first the Russiaballs were brutal to Aléscöball, the Inuitballs and the other 3balls in her clay. Starting in 1783, several of these Russiaballs known as promyshlennikiballs would round up her 3ball brothers and sisters, using them as slave laborers to hunt furs and remove other 3balls elsewhere on the west coast of North American clay for future expansion. They would brutally put down any uprisings against them, but eventually they stopped when one Russiaball, Alexander Baranov, condemned the violence and ultimately decreed that no more 3balls were to be exploited for furs. Soon the Russiaballs began to treat her 3ball and Inuitball brothers and sisters more equitably, offering them jobs in the fur trade, though it would take two generations for the 3ball population to bounce back from near-extinction. Thus Aléscöball's first incarnation, Russian Americaball, was born, with her current capital city in New Archangelball. Come 1867, Russiaball had just lost the Crimean War to UKball and Franceball and was in need of money, but he wasn't willing to give up his only territory in North America. When USAball put forward a proposal to buy up Aléscöball's clay, Russian Empireball refused. The threat of UKball expanding into his North American clay instead prompted him to heavily militarize Alescoball's clay, so when gold was found in her clay, prospectors from the respective clays of Russiaball, USAball and elsewhere around the world began pouring in by the hundreds of thousands, and much monies would be of gibbings to Russiaball and Aléscöball from the massive economic boom that followed, enabling Russiaball to pay for Aléscöball's modernization. During World War I, Aléscöball and Russiaball both fought on the side of the Allied Powers against the Reichtangle and his friends, though Russiaball pulled out of the war after the Battle of Tannenberg due to some internal problems. In 1917, the Romanov dynasty was toppled from power, and Tsar Nicholas II and the rest of the Romanov Russiaballs fled to Yekaterinburg. Thus, the Russian Empireball died, and the Soviet Unionball was born. Even though her late father pulled out of the war because of commie, Aléscöball continued to fight on in his stead until the ensuing Allied victory in 1917. ' Tsardom of Alaskaball (1917-1945) ' Upon hearing that commie anschlussed her adoptive father's clay, Aléscöball was very sad. As commies began to remove Tsarists and food and human rights from Russiaball's former clay, the Romanov dynasty and several of his supporters were able to flee to Aléscöball's clay, removing Russian Americaball and establishing a new Tsardom from scratch, resulting in the rise of her second incarnation, Tsardom of Alaskaball, the final bastion (and eventual successor) of Russian Empireball on Earth. As a result of the massive influx of White Russiaballs from her father's former clay, Aléscöball was well on the way to becoming one of the world's great powers and eventual world superpower. While the rest of the world suffered from the Great Depression, Aléscöball flourished as other impoverished countryballs came to her seeking economic bailouts. She was one of the few Western countryballs to escape the extreme economic collapse of the Depression, with oil being discovered in the far north of her clay in 1934. Of these impoverished countryballs seeking bailouts from her, none were more desperate than Canadaball, whose economy was so closely linked to that of USAball and UKball. His economy was in a shambles, his infrastructure woefully crippled, his people could not into food or warmth and his industrial level was way behind the times. Still, that did not stop him from going to Aléscöball and seeking economic bailouts. At first Canadaball was successful in negotiation but when he asked if he could into a 50% share of Aléscöball's oil profits and the eastern part of her clay, she kicked him out of her clay in disgust, as she was not going to just let some mooch suck her monies dry. Little did Alescoball know that Canadaball would remember this mistreatment, and it would come back to bite her in the ass in the future. When World War II broke out, Canadaball suffered a severe mental breakdown from his hopeless economic situation, developing two distinct personalities - his regular personality and his new Nazi personality. Civil war eventually broke out between the Nazi-backed Blueshirts and the Allies-backed Canadian government, with USAball providing Canadaball with money and weapons that could have been used to invade and remove fascism from Germanyball's clay. Eventually Nazi Germanyball and Fascist Franceball directly intervened on the side of the Blueshirts and invaded his eastern coast while the Empire of Japanball invaded his western coast. Besieged on two sides of his clay, Canadaball's Nazi personality finally got the better of his former self, completely consuming him and transforming him into the Canada Union Stateball. Come 1941, after Japanball bombed Pearl Harbor and then invaded and anschlussed Hawaiiball, he and Fascist Canadaball turned their attention to Aléscöball to get revenge for her kicking them out of her clay and denying them economic bailouts. Even with her vast resource wealth and her vast White Alaskan Army, Aléscöball was no match for the Axis and she was beaten into submission by the Japanballs and Fascist Canadaballs. In 1943, Tsar Alexei II, the last ruler of the Tsardom of Alaskaball, was among the casualties of the Axis invasion along with most of the Romanov family, and the Tsardom of Alaskaball became the last Allied countryball to surrender at the end of World War II, becoming an occupied territoryball of Fascist Canadaball. ' Under Hockey Hitler Canadian Occupation (1945-1959) ' The years after the fall of Tsardom of Alaskaball were very hard for Aléscöball. Nearly a quarter of a million White Russiaballs, Inuitballs and 3balls died, and this was just the beginning. Under occupation by Fascist Canadaball, nearly all Inuitballs and 3balls in Alescoball's clay became slave laborers, either as expendable laborers in industrial enterprises or as bonded neo-serfs on the estates of Canadian farmers in its prairie provinces. But perhaps the most horrifying atrocity to ever befall the Inuitballs and 3balls was the inhumane medical experimentation performed upon them by the millions by Fascist Canadaball, such as weapons testing, drug trials, lobotomies, gas and pressure chamber trials, and even early forms of genetic splicing. The genetic splicing in particular, however, would backfire hard on Fascist Canadaball in the future, leading to the creation of the modern descendants of these oppressed countryballs and future master race: The Aléscöi. Even though the White Alaskan Army was woefully outgunned and heavily crippled after the war, it was far from defeated. Aléscöball knew that the Axis would take over her clay eventually, and in the event of inevitable anschlussing by Fascist Canadaball, she had a contingency plan in place to make the occupation of her clay as difficult as possible for him: *The development of the Aléscöi language, which is spoken by 6balls derived from Greek and Latin, jumbled together with the Russian language and her Inuit languages (particularly Inuktitut, which was almost extinct by this time). While it sounds like Latin being spoken in Inuit by a Greeceball, the Aléscöi language is in fact an alien language part of the Romance language family, and is the only Romance language that can into non-Latin alphabet. It was indecipherable to the Fascist Canadaballs and remains one of the hardest languages to learn, let alone master, even today. *The cultural and territorial unification of all 3balls, Inuitballs and White Russiaballs in Aléscöball's clay into a single people using the Ulle Triba ("One Tribe") strategy, which was a massive and difficult undertaking as the 3balls and Inuitballs at the time had radical cultural differences. It took Aléscöball nearly 7 years to fully integrate all 3balls, Inuitballs and White Russiaballs with the Aléscöiballs. *The adoption of military tactics, strategy, organisation and equipment used by the Axis Powers during World War II, including the strategy of blitzkrieg. This suddenly made the White Alaskan Army a much more formidable opponent. *The use of constant guerrilla warfare to harass and disrupt Fascist Canadaball's grip over Aléscöball's clay. In 1952 a massive rebellion took place in Aléscöball's clay which ultimately led to Fascist Canadaball's surrender and withdrawal seven years later. Constant slave revolts and guerrilla attacks by the Inuitballs and 3balls in Aléscöball's clay as well as in Canadaball's own clay had left him weakened and unable to fight back against the resurgent White Alaskan Army. It was at that moment that he decided to fight another day and on 3 January 1959, his control over Aléscöball ended. ' Alaskan Republicball and the Cold War (1959-2016) ' At the same time that Fascist Canadaball agreed to pull out of her clay in exchange for temporary mercy, Aléscöball grew disillusioned with the fall of her monarchy. However, at least for the time being, she put her plans for restoring the Romanov dynasty to her throne on hold, and decided to become a constitutional republic instead; this resulted in her fourth incarnation, the Alaskan Republicball, being born. Aléscöball during the latter half of the 20th Century was on par with USAball as a world superpower. The Cold War was raging between four distinct factions: * NATOball, led by USAball and his Allied friends; * Reichsweltgemeinschaftball, a fascist NATO fascist alliance led by Nazi Germanyball, whose strategy was to spread fascism to its rivals. * The Warsaw Pactball, led by Soviet Unionball, whom Aléscöball particularly hated with a passion and wanted to seek vengeance against for killing her father; * The Greater East Asia Co-Prosperitysphere or GEACOPsphere, led by the Japanese Empireball, which sought to spread its influence across Asia and expand across the Pacific. Aléscöball joined forces with USAball and the rest of NATOball, as that was where her best interests lay. The containment strategy of Aléscöball, USAball and the rest of NATOball was to contain the spread of fascism and communism before it reached the Americas. Her first battle of the Cold War was against her former oppressor. By this time she developed her own military-industrial complex and the Federal Alaskan Army used it to great effect, finally removing Fascist Canadaball from the face of the Earth and taking all of his clay for herself in 1975, after nearly 15 years of endless war. At the height of the Cold War, Aléscöball was now the third-largest nation on Earth, second only to USAball in military power and the size of her economy. By this time she even had her own space program which she stole from the former Fascist Canadaball and by the end of the Cold War, she had at least five orbiting battlestations and her first space-based superweapon, the ''Daiamaltekar'' strategic defense satellite, which could shoot down enemy ballistic missiles and orbitally remove enemy clays with kinetic orbital strikes. The threat of orbitally-launched hypervelocity rods being dropped on his clay from orbit and having no weapon to possibly counter them, along with his own internal problems was enough to make the Sovietball go tits-up and become the capitalist Eurasian Unionball on 20 December 2000, thus ending the Cold War. ' I Can Finally Into Empire Again XAXAXAXAXAXA (2000-Present) ' After an attack on USAball's clay by some jihadists, Aléscöball joined USAball and his allies on a crusade to remove jihad in what would be the longest war in USAball's life. Eventually, come 2008 with the election of a certain big-eared soyboy and his policy of "culturally enriching" USAball, Alescoball pulled back her troops, beginning to yearn for her missing monarchy. Finally, come 2015, a certain silver-haired Aléscöi woman was found to be the last remaining heir of the Romanov dynasty in Aléscöball's clay, thus restoring her dead monarchy and turning her into her current incarnation, the Alaskan Empireball. Aléscöball was involved in several conflicts, such as anschlussing LIBERATING some of Fake Chinaball's clay in the Aléscö-Chinese War, intervening on behalf of Cataloniaball during his struggle for freedom, and removing hockey baguette rebels from her own clay. She also supported (and continues to support to this day) MAGA and his supporters against the rise of commie soyboy liberal fake ninjas dressed like bank robbers. Some say she could be responsible for the great red spring gripping the world right now... Today Aléscöball is one of the world's superpowers and tied with USAball as the most powerful of them all. She is currently in a cold war with Fake Chinaball because she liberated some of his clay, and is also involved in Indiaball's clay to remove curry commie separatists, Venezuelaball's clay to stop commie from spreading, and other commie removal operations around the globe.